A Personal Introduction ...

Sometimes, in life, you hit a moment.  Where you realise you just can’t keep the status quo.  Something has to change.  Often, that is difficult and you don’t really know how to do it or where to turn.  My activism story began in just such a moment in 2020.  Actually, it had been building for a long time. Who knew the place I would end up turning to find my help would be Twitter (now X)!  Through following paths of tweets and threads I discovered such powerful writers as Rachel Held Evans, such present and relatable clergy as Nadia Bolz-Weber and people grappling with the same issues I was such as Sarah Bessey.  A new world of people who respect the LGBTQ+ community in a way most (but thankfully not all!) church experience I had did not.  People not afraid to speak out despite knowing the level of vitriol and trolling they would receive, in many cases from those professing to believe in a Prince of Peace.  Those who would see my situation and rejoice in the redemptive story, instead of getting hung up on the path yet to walk.  I found my people.

Yet the physical word I lived in was just not there.  I saw churches with incredible public facing profiles, yet deep rooted discrimination abounding beyond the doors.  I craved full acceptance, love and care, yet the raw wounds of Spiritual Abuse still wept.  I sat in that liminal space, between knowing a physical church home, and knowing there had to be a new chapter of my faith story, within those walls or others, yet not knowing what that would look like.  I turned inwards, in prayer and rest, to the God who dwells within, laying all my processing and confusion down in that space.  And I felt gentle nudges.  Study.  Learn.  Write.  Share. 

So I begin my deconstruction.  I challenged the pressure to name my God as Father at all times and embrace the Mother she often is.  I began to use They/Them pronouns in recognition They are one and three, thankful for the gift of Theology around Gender Identity for this expression.  I studied and held my learning in liminal space with God, following the example of the Psalmist who sang “I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.  I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word (Psalm 119:15-16).  I prayed for the Holy Spirit within to make the way clear, taking the advice of 2 Timothy 2:15 to “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth”.  For in every way I wanted to deconstruct my relationship with Church, I wanted to hold true to the God who nurtures, guides, blesses and comforts me throughout all things.  For They are good, and I pray my writing will always point back to Them. 

In the years since I have studied works from Jewish contextual studies, to disability theology, to writings of the mystics and more. Feminist, trauma, queer theologies. Ancient and modern. My bookshelves are full of texts, some with pencil markings and bright coloured tabs, some crisp and waiting to be consumed. To nourish. Mostly I have learned how much I have to unlearn. And it is good. And it is Godly.

I wrote this in 2020, and I write the same again today. I may make mistakes.  I may misunderstand or misinterpret.  I may write things I look back on in years to come and cringe!  I accept this as part of my journeying, I freely accept I won’t always be right and I invite critical yet polite engagement with my writing.  I do however challenge any reader to respect my journey whatever their personal response to it is, and to share any comments kindly.  Your journey will be different to mine, your conclusions may well differ to mine and that is what makes the world such a beautiful and varied place.  It is not disagreement which sows disunity, but unkindness. 

And now, I find myself blessed to facilitate The Ordinary Office space. In time, I will bring my important writings from my deconstructingchurch blog to this space. But for now, this is me. Living in the liminal space and grateful for the learning.

Peace be with you.

(First published 1st May 2020 as 'Introduction and Explanation' on www.deconstructingchurch.com.

Reposted  with edits 27th April 2025. Authored and edited by Rebecca Parnaby-Rooke)